Tooth update

Well, thats it, thats me back from the dentist – sitting here slurping tea like a gorilla! – its freezing here, I just bunged the heating on, I’m not going to do any painting, I haven’t done any this year as yet – its always a bit strange getting back to it after xmas hols, good grief tho, its Jan 24th, and I haven’t yet picked up a brush – shocking, but for me, painting is a pursuit of the leisurely class, I’ll do it when I feel the time is right – its not something I have to do, I already earn a living, albeit meagre, I’m not the sort of painter driven by need, although I do have a little of that quality, where if you don’t accomplish something worthwhile I’ll go a bit mad – I’m barely in touch with my inner self, I don’t know what drives me, or whats good for me, but I do know that ultimately I got to strive!

Now whats my excuse? (I still don’t feel like I dealt with the subject above yet) Its been dark here, so dark! Its grey in the kitchen (where I paint) and I had toothache all last week, or else I would have been painting – (not that I paint all day, just 3 afternoons a week normally, if all goes well) Anyhow,  Bought some more paint the other day, its on order for delivery, so I certainly intend to do more painting. Its been really difficult over the yrs since I graduated (1st class no less) I think it was – crikey, 1998, I just checked the date! So thats almost 20yrs ago, I didn’t want to take it too seriously, but the first 10yrs after that was just an ego trip, “Do you know who I am??” Sort of WTF man? Why do I have to live in reality? I didn’t before then, I was already in my 30’s, I’d been a recovering punk rocker 10yrs before then, lapsed into unemployable drug user turned artist, escaping oblivion through art, only to find the new ID circumspect.

By that, what do I mean? Well, ask yourself, what is art? What is it for? What has it become? What have I become?

Oh, there’s nothing wrong with being an artist, good luck to them, thats what I say, but for me, I don’t want to be what they want me to be, I want to just be – thats the way to do it! I find that one has to listen to people who know, really know, people you admire, don’t fall for the swagger! (teachers were all great BTW, thats what I mean by it all)

Its taken such a long time -anyhow, back to the dentist. It turns out I hadn’t got toothache – a cracked tooth at the back had allowed infection under the gum, not decay I’m happy to report – however, the crack is so bad, it could lead to problems in the future, I hope not, but if I’m lucky, the tooth may still be in use for some years to come – hoorah!

I had thought it might be my vaping that was causing the problem, I vape like a mo-fo, I used to be a smoker, not all that heavy, but I was without doubt horribly addicted, I never gave it up in all the years I smoked till I found vaping. My addiction is quite extraordinary, (or ordinary I guess, but extraordinary to me) – you see you first get addicted to something physically, your body says give me nicotine, give me more, and when you get it you go Ah! Before long, you come to adore your addiction, the addiction itself becomes a thing – you love it, and it loves you, or is it the other way round? You no longer know, its a lot like painting, or an abusive relationship – it becomes a crutch which holds you up, makes you feel superior, because you have your addiction, you can always go to it, and do a bit more of that – sure, it might be causing your teeth to fall out, it might be causing head wrenching pain-aches, but its yours baby! Yours, and yours alone!! Enjoy! XX

I was going to take the opportunity at this point to post some of my paintings, but I decided against it, I only really got 4 good ones, 1 of which is a bit dodgy, in fact they all are except one, to be quite honest, but as I said, its dark in the kitchen, so its hard to get a good photo, but suffice to say, they look way better now than they did a year ago. A year ago, I could convince myself they were pretty fine, till I photographed them, and then they looked awful, so its a big step from bloody hell thats a mess, to, oh, not bad! I should be able to have these and another few done before summer, I spent the last year or 18 months, or maybe it was 5yrs I forget, painting away and thinking maybe I need to try to think this way, or that way, because all that is important, and it does take a lot of time to get over yourself, being able to paint is one thing, but being able to really do something with paint is quite another – well, thats what we all aim for isn’t it? First thing to do, is write about it, set your sights high, then go for it, destroy yourself X-1000, then lower your sights, tell yourself it wasn’t you, it was all the others! Stuff like that – it really works! Believe me, you won’t even believe it till you get there! Heh,heh,heh . . .

Ow,ow,ow, my face hurts! The injections wore off, my dentist says it took double the normally powerful stuff to stop me blubbing and wailing like a baby – I just said “I’m like Frankenstein, it takes a lot to dowse me!” Seriously, I’m not embarrassed, I don’t like the pain, its not for me! I’m slow to adapt to it, way behind, thats just who I am, wait for me baby, I’ll catch up – in a decade or 2! ❤

 

*(I guess this song is dedicated to my dentist?)

 

 

What is Love? <3

Very often people ask me “Ogden, What is Love?” I usually refer the them to the Howard Jones song of the same title

 

Well, thank you Howard for that, but it sure sounds like he got jilted to me, so lets ask the Fatback Band, see if they can come up with something better?

Well he certainly sounds more happy about it, its almost as if he has love on his side!

Well between them they seem to have come up with plenty of food for thought, if you still wanna know what love is, you’ll just have to google! ❤

Worth a thousand words?

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but is it really? That is the question I decided to write about today, so here goes.

I have been reading this book by Shirley Jackson titled “We have always lived in the Castle” – its gothic fiction, written in about 1962 – its in the same style as the old black and white films of Bette Davis – and I do like that sort of thing, here’s the trailer for the film Hush Hush Sweet Charlotte in case you’re unfamiliar.

That gives you a pretty good idea of the sort of territory I’m talking about! Axe murders, screaming bug eyed lunatics in the night, crazy freaks, such as the housekeeper there, obviously uneducated, flawed by superstitious beliefs, vs the high living rich house owner, the entitlement she possesses has given way to madness – they are all so very human! While one rules over the other, the Davis character is in turn restricted by the overbearing father, now passed away, yet his ghost runs the whole show (to the extent that he may as well still be alive).

Anyhow, I been reading this book, (We have always lived in the Castle) which has nothing to do with the Bette Davis thing, except that its very similar in style. So anyhow, I did this drawing while thinking of the character of Merricat (Mary-Kate)

meredith

In my imagination she is more of a raven haired lady, but this looked ok to me so I’m not going to alter it now.

Like the character Bette Davis plays, she’s quite mad, but she’s only 18 yrs old, so she’s not a woman of experience,  she has never been disciplined, no one can remember the last time she brushed her hair. When you’re introduced to the characters in the book, you think WTF? She mad, bad and dangerous, but no one seems to be impolite enough to speak out against her – she is much loved within the family, even though everyone knows the poisoning incident for 5yrs or so earlier was likely down to her – half the family died!! The villagers, true to form gossip about the goings on at “the house” – it all seems a bit far fetched, and yet, back then, this was far less of a distortion of how many communities lived than it at first seems!

Shirley Jackson is a very clever writer, she has written the book from the point of view of the murderer, so while she may be perhaps a little unsympathetic, she’s fun to be with, very fanciful and innocent, yet she will kill you and forget she ever did in a heartbeat! At one point, old Uncle Julian stated that Merricat herself had died years ago, reading this I suspected perhaps she really had, and she’s just a ghost in the story? But that can’t be right, because she interacts with others in the story, so one has to conclude Uncle Julian is simply suffering from dementia, or else his heart was so broken after Merricat murdered everyone – but what can you do? She’s family, one can’t hold grudges – not really!

Well, I haven’t counted how many words I wrote, and I have no intention of doing so, but to go back to the question, is a picture really worth a thousand words??

Here’s another one, if a picture is worth a thousand words, how many is a film worth, at 30frames per second? But is a film better than a book? Bette Davis brought to life on screen some fantastic characters, but when you read a book, I submit that you read it inside yourself, it begins inside, and if its a good one, it penetrates deeper – the artistry of the writer can help to open doors in such clever ways, make an appealing character one you would love to meet. A film can do similar, but what about a picture? Its a still image, you can’t compare  a picture with a story, or a film for that matter, its an entirely different thing – why do we have that saying “Worth a thousand words?”

esperanza-macarena

There’s a picture of a Macarena, from Seville, (just cos I been there recently) I suppose back in the middle ages, a picture was worth a thousand words, simply cos hardly anyone could read! Mind you, this isn’t a picture, well, it is now, but its a sculpture, and a church altar originally, but now of course we have pictures galore of everything known, not only as art, but as photos, and photos of art, turned from art into mere photos – I was going to post a picture of a fav Rembrandt picture, but none of the photos match up to the original, for starters, when you see the original, its mahoosive, you look up at it, and that effect is largely lost when its shrunk down, also, the texture of the surface isn’t well captured by the photo – but this Macarena is a good case in point.

What is going on in that photo? Its enough to drive you mad!

Here’s an almost entirely random song!

Happy New Year everyone!

Well here we are in 2017, Happy New Year everyone!

Things are likely to get weird, very weird, we have Trump in the Whitehouse, and Brexit here in Britain, and with up-coming elections in France Holland and Germany, world politics is shifting to the right, it could very well be the end of days – yes, the physical manifestation of the holy apocalypse as predicted in ancient times!

The human brain it seems to me thinks in terms of localised events, leading to universal chaos, if something happens to one, then he shall go out and do worse to the rest, this is the lesson of history, if we ignore history and set out alone on some manic mission, we create new situations, ghastly demonic forces are raised from the depths of hell, bringing forth formerly unimagined ill-conceived horrors.

This morning I awoke to this new day with great fear and trepidation, as I brushed my teeth I was thinking I really must order new tooth brush heads for my electric tooth brush, they are never available in the shops, I have even considered buying a whole new brush, one where the heads match the ones in the shop, rather than having to go online to get them – its most inconvenient. Well, I finished brushing and just had a quick look in the draw, and Lo, there I did find a new head which I had forgotten I’d bought some time ago. This I take to be a good omen! Therefore I new predict a peaceful and fruitful 2017 for all. 🙂