In my life its been mostly blah, blah, this – and blah, blah, that, so who would’ve guessed it would turn out like it did? I do get the urge to blog about it just a bit here, so I jot down notes to self occasionally to use later and look clever, but then sometimes I just dump all those, due to time being what it is, once the moment has gone, its just “gone” you know? Don’t you find that? Ya wanna do something, or say something, so you save it for later but then its gone, if you didn’t say it then, at that moment, there’s no meaning to repeat it later – what a bummer! Some of the best ever moments, Gone! Well, not this time! I got it written down as I did it, its there! Right there! Isn’t it brilliant!!
Perhaps the message here is I got nothing, nothing at all to offer, but I’m trying! Thats really honest isn’t it? Can one “make it” being honest? Or does one have to lie, invent, steal, and so on? Well look at me for your answer! I’m really not doing very well, and I’m a bit of a loser, but I got this! This bit of shit! Its mine! All mine!!
Got you! You all fell for it! I’m doing ever so well, I lied and cheated myself, my own inner self, till I’d got so much shit I didn’t even recognise what I became! Haha, the jokes on me! OR is it??
Well really I don’t have any answers to anything, I’m a bit dumb – you know Scottish accents right? They can be pretty rough sounding? Well I was doing some painting the other week, I was really struggling, cos this one picture, its getting a bit repetitive, trying to get it right, then every few weeks coming back round to where you were before, and its still shit and not working, and I was thinking of this Scottish voice, really harshly saying “Ya Dafty Bastard, ya can’t do it!” Well thats quite disheartening, “Dafty” the Scots accent is quite good at doing ridicule and bullying in general, my mate, who wasn’t Scottish used to say (Scots accent) “I’m not your focking Mother!” LOL It was a joke between the two of us, we both admired hard men I guess – thing is, if you go around admiring hard men, you become one yourself, incapable of feeling – not realising that hard men themselves, actually feel quite a lot! They just look like they don’t, they reserve their moments of pathetic self loathing for elsewhere – Ok, I read its good to cry, so I’m off to slam my dick in the door / I mean do some more painting – See You! 😀
Went to see Sparks last year, in the middle of a quite rocking set, they played this really off the wall song, I thought it was a bit of a joke at first, (a lot of their songs have that slant on them) but then it built up and up into this big crescendo – if that the right word? I may have posted this before, if so, here it is again! 😀