I was never much good in relationships, I mean sexual ones of course – who’s interested in any other sort? It just seemed to me, when it all began, I mean as a youth, the object was to lay down the rules, take control and be a man. I was always a bit of a weed, no fault of my own, I just wasn’t all that manly. First things first, what you must do is go out there and beat another man down, beat on his ass, as they say.
You might think thats a bit homo-erotic perhaps, but thats just the way it is. Straddle that Brocken and defeated foe and unleash that primal manly roar of victory! To be an ultimate real man and lay down the law, you must beat your equal or even your superior down into a bloody pulp then stand over his battered beaten corpse and declare to the womenfolk looking on, I am a man! Then and only then, you may take out your “other weapon”, and do all that sexy stuff which women love so much, they’ll be queuing up to do it cos its so exciting – or at least thats how it seemed to be.
And yet, I recall being such a wimp back then, sneaking about in the shadows, being invisible and useless. But then by chance I got my girl, how much fun it was to play these games, and I’m thinking yes, I get it, that must be such fun for you, but for me its just stupid and silly, can’t we just move on from all that to something more comfortable and civilised? Well, you can, but then you won’t experience the ultimate manfully manly maness’s of homo-erotic fiction that passes for acceptable bullshit among a certain class of male female conjugal rights.
Well I’m no barbarian, but of course, if someone mistakes me for a barbaric manly man, I’m not going to confess to being an utter weed am I? This is great, I got the best girl, and she doesn’t even know she’s talking to someone who is actually half way a pooftah! Or maybe she does know, and just likes doing weird experimental stuff, but who cares?
Well so much for barbarism, its pretty easy to cheat the ferryman or whatever, but seriously, cheating the ferryman is jolly good fun, but its nowhere near so funny as knocking ten bells of shit out of him, sinking his boat and not even bothering to cross over, since they’re all coming to you anyhow! 😀