“It’s A Sin”

I was watching that “It’s A Sin” on tv last night and it got me thinking about my experience of that time. Back then you couldn’t just wave your erection in the car window like you can now – seriously, one still can’t wave ones erection, you couldn’t then, and you can’t now – never could! Believe me, I’ve tried!

That is the nature of homosexuality, its not really something you take up lightly, or maybe you do? What do I know? 

Last week, I was compiling the jobs I was at between about 1980, and around 92’ – I had over 22 jobs!  I wasn’t in some line of work where you just move around a lot, I would just get a job, get fed up with it, and go and get another job somewhere else – I was certainly a bit of a miss-fit. If I felt the job was dead end and going nowhere, I’d leave – I tried to settle, but never could – they’d call me the wanderer! 🙂

Hmm, thats not very gay is it? Its a fantasy, I didn’t wander around with my two fists of iron and get loads of women, I would have liked to, but as I say, that’s mere fantasy.

I probably got loads of stories about all these workplaces, memories of people and places and so on, but ultimately, it was a waste of time! 

The last of the 22 jobs fell through, and I knew I wasn’t very happy living the way I did, so I took a year or 2 out to get stoned, then went to college to do art. It was great, because I was about 28 or 30, and at a dead impasse, and this was like a second chance – I hated school when I was younger, but now I wanted it – the teaching was good, and interesting, and I was surrounded by young girls, pretty ones, the best of the bunch tend to like art, so there I was, sat down by the river, surrounded by these girls, you can never have too many girls, no one cared if you were gay or straight, it was a good time IMO.

After that, I went and did a degree, and did well on that too, and got teaching quals, I thought maybe I’d get a better job, but also, at the same time I’d been doing some cleaning work for the council to help pay for my education. In the end, I just carried on with the council job, and I have been there for 20 years or so now – the job is rubbish, but I’m not really interested in teaching or getting more money, I have enough to pay for paints and stuff, and I don’t really care about selling art or being successful at that either. I was talking to someone about it the other day, and she said its because I don’t have kids. She’s probably right, if you don’t have to have them, why would you? 

Getting back to the gay thing, I don’t fancy blokes as a rule, I’d sooner fuck a woman than a guy any day, and yet this never seems to “cut it” with women. I don’t think I shall ever understand them. I actually feel that I understand them very well, but I don’t know them in the way that I ought in order to be a classical straight man – do classical straight men know anything? Anything at all? They seem a bit Neanderthal to me, I like it, I think its great, to react like a reflex – must be amazing! I’m too damn philosophical, thats my problem. 😦 

6 comments

  1. Pingback: “It’s A Sin” | Ogden Fahey - Art
  2. trE · March 1

    Lol. I date both men and women and honestly, I don’t understand either gender. I just try my best with whom I’m with at loving them and respecting them and learning them. It works until it doesn’t. But I do rather enjoy being single. At least, I have for the last four years.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ogden Fahey · March 1

      Aha, thats very interesting trE! I never was really interested in the male of the species, perhaps I should have shown more interest, but its difficult – when men behave with such self confidence I find it admirable, and yet I know its just bravado, which I don’t admire or envy, and yet lots of men and women absolutely love it! I think if I was a woman, I’d love a man to be like that – cos you could place confidence in getting involved, without actually committing to what you know to be shortsighted and rather silly – but then, women will turn around later on and say “But you said” !!! And hold you to account, as if everything that was fun has now become some kind of life sentence!! LMAO Cant win!!

      You’re most likely very lucky to be single mostly, BTW “Its a Sin” is the title for a BBC drama, about the gay scene in the 80s, and the AIDs pandemic, its really a good series if you can get to see it – well written and acted out – sad tho too! Xx

      Liked by 1 person

      • trE · March 1

        I can only imagine. I bet it’s quite sad. Maybe I’ll get some time to look into seeing it.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Ogden Fahey · March 1

        Oh yes, its definitely sad, but there’s a lot of joy in it to – you have to see it, they did it so well! ❤

        Liked by 1 person

      • trE · March 1

        🙏

        Liked by 1 person

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