Greeting fellow bloggers, just a quickie, a few thoughts for anyone out there reading blogs over the Christmas period, its been strange for me, its rushed up so fast this year, often as it closes in, I have mixed feelings about it, cos its the end of the year, I often find myself looking back, not just over the last one, but all of em! Wow, its been weird being me! I was thinking back to when as a teenager, we used to go in this pub, we were underage, nearly everyone was in that pub, half the kids were in school uniforms, so it was very obvious they served under age (illegal drinkers) So anyhow, we were all in there, cos it was the only pub in town that served all these kids, I think I would have been about 17, (18 is the legal age here) so anyhow, there we were, it was a nice little pub, and there was this old man sat in a rocking chair by an open fire, it may well have been xmas time, but anyhow, someone realised he had actually passed away right there in his chair! Well, it was probably a favourite place, so no real bad thing, just sort of strange or odd, someone mentioned the ambulance was coming for him and the pub just emptied, cos most likely the police would want to have a look too, and no one wanted to get caught! That was quite funny at the time, I often think about that pub cos I used to go in there a lot, it was where I first started drinking, I was a bit of a regular in there back then. It was just like “Some blokes died, so we got to drink up and get out of here!”

Well back to the point, sometimes I think back, and I do feel like no one understands, you know that feeling “even the dog don’t understand me?” The kind of feeling like you’re so alone – I think everyone must get it, even if you got a house full of family and all that. I don’t feel so bad as I would if I was homeless and freezing cold, in a case like that, it wouldn’t be a passing notion, I’d be so sad, it would just go on and on, I’d be so grim, that would be like being invisible. I got talking to this homeless guy one time, and he was so revealing about his feelings, it was amazing to me, his life was so deep, I thought he should get inside, but he said no, for him it was too late, he belonged on the streets, or so he said, I tried to offer some advise, but he wasn’t having it – theres a lot wrong in this world for some folk.

Anyway, I’m fine, (sigh) nothing wrong with me really, I’m a bit moody, its weird being as old as I am, I keep forgetting how old I am, not that I’m geriatric or anything, or can’t actually count, I just don’t care too! I was thinking the other day about how old I am, and I just had to do some sums, cos I stopped counting a few yrs ago, like me dad, he used to have to do the math when asked how old he was too.

I went xmas shopping the other day, so I go into this big department store, I always just walk past the perfume dept, its all the expensive stuff, who cares about that anyhow? I mean, who’s going to buy it at that price? But of course some people do, its priorities really, if thats what you work for, and what you want, but what if its a gift? If someone wants stuff like that, I wouldn’t know where to start, what perfume is worth what price? thats weird! Cant you make do with a bottle of cheap’o stuff? I’m not effected by any of that, perhaps I would be if I was better paid? Sounds like a bit of a nightmare to me tho 😉

So anyhow, I went round the whole city, and hardly bought anything, then set off for home, and it was already pitch dark by 5pm, cos we don’t get much sun at this time of yr, and it was cold, so I was on the motorbike, bored on the main roads I took the country route like an idiot, and the roads were muddy from farm vehicles, so its quite dangerous and slippy, I been doing this sort of thing since I was a kid, I enjoy a challenge, so I don’t mind being blinded by car headlights, and freezing and nearly ending up in ditches cos I can’t see the corners – it was one of those nights where the mist and fog is causing reflections, so your headlight is almost making it worse, beaming back at you, and I’m going slow, and thinking who am I? Where do we come from? When are the aliens going to show up? Well that was 21’st December, shortest day of the year, so in that way things can only get better – long and short of it, if you’re maudlin type, like me, Happy Christmas! And if you’re not, Happy Christmas anyhow!! 😀